Cannibals
Jokes
Country of origin: Various/unknown
More jokes here
In deep dark cannibal Africa, a man and his child were walking along one day... The man says to his son, "Son today you're gonna eat your first woman!".
The son replies, "Great dad, what do I do?".
The man says, "Go to the village and bring a nice and juicy woman and I'll see if she's good enough."
The son goes and an hour later he brings back this skinny lady. The man say, "No No, she's way too skinny, there's no meat to eat! Go get us another"
The son goes and gets a fat ugly woman. The man says, "No son, she's too fat, too much fat is bad for the heart"
So the son disappears for 3 hours and comes back with this amazing looking lady with big breasts and a nice butt!.
"What do you think of her?" the son asks.
The man replies with his mouth wide open, "She's great, son you did good... Now let's take her home, we'll eat your mother!"
Q: What do you call two cannibals having oral sex?
A: Trust
At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"
The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.
The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"
The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman shipwrecked on an island with a tribeof cannibals. All three are told by the cannibals that they will be cooked andeaten, and canoes will then be made out of their skins.
The Englishman is asked if he has any last requests. He says, "Yes, I'd like a knife." He is given a knife, which he uses to slit his throat as he shouts, "Long live the Queen!"
The Scotsman then has the opportunity to make a last request. He, too asks for a knife and slits his throat, as he cries, "Scotland forever!!"
The Irishman is then asked for his last request. He responds, "I'd like a fork, please." The natives are a little confused, but comply.
Suddenly the Irishman stabs himself repeatedly with the fork, shouting, "You're not making a bloody canoe out of me!"