Why the chicken crossed the road

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?

Andersen Consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Ayn Rand: It was crossing the road because of its own rational choice to do so. There cannot be a collective unconscious; desires are unique to each individual.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Capt. James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail - the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost!

Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Henny Youngman: Take this chicken ... please.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of pleghm in its pancreas.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Immanuel Kant: Because it was a duty.

Jack Nicholson: 'cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

James Joyce: Once upon a time a nice little chicken named baby tuckoo crossed the road and met a moocow coming down...

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

Plato: For the greater good.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Sappho: Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair than all of Hellas' fine armies.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

Stephen Jay Gould: It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself.

William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.